Sweatin' Like An Oldie

I. Am. Soaked.  Day three of this workout program had me muttering things under my breath like "F$&@ you, Shawn T," and wondering what I was thinking.  I had to keep reminding myself that the only thing I've ever attempted to master and failed miserably at in my life was algebra, and since I've somehow managed to survive for 40+ years without ever having used it, I'm not too broken up about that!

So, while Shawn T and the merry makers were skipping, hopping, cha- cha- cha' ing, and grapevining their way across the stage, I was stumbling, fumbling and bumbling my way through the workout here in the privacy of my own living room, scratching my head and wondering how long it was going to take me to master the moves.  As it stands right now, I can't even combine the footwork and the arms without tripping over my own feet, or forgetting to do one or the other as I try desperately to keep up.

What I need to remind myself is that with every major change in my life has come the certainty that I will never master whatever it is I'm attempting to do.  Sure, typically these are pursuits that challenge my mind instead of my body and require sitting on my ass as opposed to physical movement, but the feelings of impending doom and certain failure are always the same.

Then one day it clicks.  Things magically make sense in my head.  The pieces come together in a dizzying rush of understanding.  So, I've decided to tackle this problem with the same positivity and certainty that it will all come together as I do anything else that challenges me.  Instead of adopting my "what was I thinking" and my "this is all way beyond my capabilities and not meant for people like me" attitude that I tend to get regarding all things physical, I am going to attack these workouts with single- minded intensity and focus on the small victories (like the fact that I didn't keel over dead from lack of oxygen and that I actually finished both of the scheduled workouts instead of just one, or half of one).

Yes, it will probably be hours before my face loses its purplish hue and goes back to its normal color.  But that's the advantage of being an empty nester whose old man is out of town on a hunting trip.  No witnesses.

I can do this.  I Will do this.  Not only will I do this, I will do it well.  I can hear my inner skinny bitch crowing and telling my outer fatty to suck a big one and have another carrot stick.