It finally occurred to me a couple of weeks ago that I've been living my life for others. Make no mistake, it's not that I didn't, and still don't see a certain nobility in being in a helping profession or going above and beyond to help others. I do, or I wouldn't be wrestling with decisions like whether or not to continue my education or how long to stay in my current position at the prison when chances for advancement look to be slim.
I became a wife at twenty- one and a mother at twenty- two. Many will disagree with me in my belief that women should hold themselves to a higher standard than men when it comes to parenting. But carrying a baby under your heart for nine long months is something that a man will never have the opportunity to experience, and if you ask me, God sure knew what he was doing when he designed it that way! Contrary to the popular belief that women are the weaker sex, it's my belief that we are the opposite. The fact that my own husband almost passed out while watching the doctor perform an episiotomy on me when I was giving birth to our son reiterates this point, especially since I didn't feel a thing.
But I digress, as I often do when random thoughts skitter through my brain and come spewing out my mouth (or fingers, in this case). I believe it's referred to as having no filter, something I've long been accused of, and I confess, has only gotten worse in my current line of work. This blog will be filled with those, so if you have a strong stomach and a sense of humor, keep reading. If you don't, this may not be up your alley.
I became an empty nester a few months ago. This was harder on me than I realized it would be. My husband said "come on now, you're the one who raised him to be self- sufficient." And he's right, I did. That doesn't mean, however, that I wouldn't be content for him to live at home with me for the rest of his natural life. My son leaving home and getting his own place coincided with me finishing my online schooling and finally, after four long years of continuous study, receiving my bachelor of science degree in psychology. I had already decided to take a break before going back to school and getting a master's. However, now that it's just me and my husband, I find myself at loose ends.
After having my big epiphany a few weeks ago (must've been huge if I can't even remember the exact day I had it, right?) I decided that I'm not getting any younger. The longer I wait to begin my journey toward self- improvement, the harder it's going to be to accomplish it. So, in the wee hours of the morning and still under the influence of sleep, I ordered a workout program I saw on an infomercial that looked like fun. Of course, it helped that the guy facilitating the workout was Shawn T, who is amazingly hot (now you know what my motivation will be to pop in those DVD' s and start sweating!). I also made a trip to the store and bought all kinds of healthy food (note to self: look for blogs dedicated to eating healthy on the cheap!).
We interrupt this blog to bring you a knock at the door....yay! It's the mailman bringing me my beach body workout videos! Normally I would wait until Monday to start anything new, but since I started my diet yesterday, I think today or tomorrow will be the day I bust open that box and see what torturous treasures wait for me inside. I know this is not going to be easy, especially since I have crossed over the threshold into middle age. But I figure if I apply the same single minded dedication to self- improvement as I have obtaining my degree or saving people that, in most cases prove to be unsaveable, I can make it happen
. Here we gooooo......
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